Its been a little while

I think the last time I posted a blog about what I’ve been up to projects wise was when I actually started my projects. Oops. So what have I been up to in the last month and a half? I’ve had a lot of successes (gracias a Dios), some failures, a lot of great times, and immeasurable learning experiences. I am really only focusing on 4 Peace Corps programs;  I think they will be the cornerstones of my service and the most rewarding initiatives for my community.

Chicas Brillantes: The 3 girls that I took the regional conference in February have really been a blessing. They run groups whenever I have to go out of town for meetings  and show up for every single program. They  model positive participation, energize the other girls, and motivate girls to come to the groups as well. My chicas groups have been running pretty smoothly and I think the girls are really starting to internalize the information because I am starting to see a shift in some of their actions. Some of the girls who started out really shy and didn’t want to participate are now raising their hands, sharing personal examples, and leading the way whenever it is time to do a dinamica. Additionally, a couple of my groups like to continue group by either having a reading club or doing step. I am really excited for the next couple of months because the girls are more comfortable sharing information with me and I am becoming more comfortable speaking Spanish in front of them. A lot of them also want to study at a university so I am hoping to learn more about the college application process here in order to support my girls on their journey. Doesn't this sound so familiar =)

Chicos Superman: I originally started out with 2 groups on two different days but I ended up combining the groups so that I could have a good solid group of 15 boys. They are energetic and we are on an anti-tigere journey because we tend to focus on topics that help them realize that women can do anything men can do. (viva mujeres!) I am enjoying doing activities with this group because they love any and everything! I am pretty excited for the Regional camp because I am hoping to get more ideas about science and outdoor activities to do with them.

Deportes para la Vida: I’m totally in love with this program because it reminds me a lot of the College Summit Rap Director curriculum. I was able to take 5 people from my community/organization to the training in late March and I had a ball. I learned a lot about my community members which will only strengthen the confianza I have within the community and I think they learned a lot about as me well. We went through the entire program as participantes and also practiced facilitating the different activities in preparation for becoming entrenadores within our respective communities. This program totally engages youth in an exciting and energetic way, as well as teaches them about positive decision making and HIV/AIDS prevention. So the major plan with this program is to do summer workshops with all of my graduated Chicas and Chicos groups, as well as jovenes from my barrio. The goal is to train them with this program which hopefully opens the door for Escojo mi Vida groups in the fall. Si Dios quiere!

Yo se Leer:  In working with Chicas and Chicos groups, I’ve realized that there are a large number of youth in my site who cannot read. It is pretty disheartening and it has prevented some of them from participating fully in group at times. I am hoping to create a safe space where they can start to learn how to read. This is definitely a major focus of mine so I am taking steps now to create a program for the fall. I am planning to start working with my target population in May so that we can just do a short term class, they can get comfortable with me and the set up of the program, and then it will be full steam ahead in September. Again si Dios quiere.

Also, I just held my first mini conference which was basically a health day for the older girls in my Chicas group. The day focused on the girls gaining an understanding of the human anatomy, menstrual cycle process, DPV introductory games about HIV/AIDS, A.B.C.s, nutrition, step, and girl talk. It was a jam packed mini conference and the event was really successful despite my stress level at the start of the day being at an all time high. But that is why I am so thankful to have some amazing friends serving with me because my lovely friends from the health sector Norma and James came to facilitate the charlas, 2 of my Deportes para la Vida entrenadores facilitated 2 games, and  Caleb brought a rockstar from his community who dropped some knowledge on my girls. I am thrilled that my girls had such a great time learning about their bodies and ways to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS.  I am planning 2 more days in April as well: one more for my younger Chicas groups and one for my Chicos group. Now that I have organzied one event, I am focused on improving the success in all my programs to follow.

I have the next 2 months to wrap up my Chicas and Chicos groups (of course I am trying to plan an awesome graduation for them as well!), plan my summer Deportes para la Vida camps, attend some conferences with my jovenes, and of course continue to explore this beautiful country by visiting other PC volunteers!

And finally...how am I doing personally? Well we all know I am an over planner and I am results oriented. but even with the impressive org (I mean I even have an org issued email address) I'm still learning to take everything one step at a time and do things my way. I'm also happy to have gotten started on my projects in my community because it is helping me grow more comfortable with Spanish. I've also done a bit of travelling over the past month and half and I have gone to 6 different friends' sites. I've been to the beach, celebrated graduations with friends, participated in the events of other volunteers, hosted volunteers in my site, and I've spent more time getting to know the amazing trabajadores of my organization.

I've caught myself reflecting on a question my triplet Ashlee asked me 2 months ago...am I present in every moment? I was unsure at the time of that skype call which probably meant no then. I had been so anxious about what my service would look like, how I may never ever get Spanish, and just caught up in over planning. But now, I truly feel as though I am living in every moment. I am genuinely enjoying my time here, I laugh often, let things roll off my back more easily, go out more, forgive more, and accept/embrace everything for what it is an amazing space to be in. I plan, but I am not tied to the plan; I am more flexible and accepting of the fact that nothing is certain. If nothing else, that has been a great lesson I've learned here while in the D.R. because I've become more at peace with just letting things be.

And since I am speaking about my personal world, I would like to thank all of my family and friends...in the States and here in the D.R. I am a better person for the people who helped me become who I am in the States as well as for the people who continually challenge, love, and help me shift out of my comfort zone here in the D.R. This Peace Corps experience is all about the people you meet and I am positive that I have developed even more life long friendships here in the D.R. which I am thankful to God for.

New Years Hopes

This is a little late into January but better late than never. Today marks my 5 month anniversary in the Dominican Republic. I am continually reminded of how blessed I am to be here which led me to reflect on 2011. At the very beginning of 2011, based on one of Pastor Battle's amazing sermons, I felt led to wholeheartedly pursue my dream of serving as a Peace Corps volunteer. As some of you know, 3 years ago I wrote out a 30 things I would like to do before 30 and serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in the Dominican Republic was #6 on the list. Now that was before I knew the process of the Peace Corps (you cannot actually pick where you are going). Well through a lot of trials of perseverance and patience in the process, I was on my way to serve as a Youth Development Volunteer (after 3.5 year training as a youth development facilitator thanks to College Summit!) in the D.R. in August. After 2 months of training, I was sworn in as a volunteer and after February 4 (3 month training) I can officially start all of the programs that I want to implement in my community and my organization This was the biggest goal of 2012 and I accomplished it, but I do not want to get too comfortable with just being here. I came here to serve.

I have some goals for 2012 too and what better way to strive towards them than to make them public so that my family and friends can continue to hold me accountable.

1. live in every moment (this will always be my lifelong #1 goal)
2. celebrate everything! (life is just better that way)
3. go outside and meet people! (its hard to do some days but everyday I've talked myself into going has been totally worthwhile)
4. smile! (it can totally brighten someone else's day)
5. just let it roll off my bad, humbly (see my blog entry about being a dark skinned volunteer)
6. commit to 5 hours a week of serious Spanish study (to get better I need to work a little harder)
7. try to listen (this goes hand in hand with learning more Spanish so I can comprehend what I'm hearing)
8. share more about my life in the states
9. start my Chicas Brillantes, boys/girls step team, and boys group
10. teach my youth group Escojo mi Vida, Brigada Verde, Yo Soy Ingeniero, Construye Tus Sueños
11. do a mural at the Centro Comunitario with Carrie
12. at the Centro Juvenil teach the boys dinamicas and use didactic learning tools to teach math
13. at Centro Juvenil help kids learn to read with the Yo Se Leer manual
14. travel the country to visit all of my friends sites (even you Malika!)
15. host friends and fam from the states (hint that means you guys have to come!)
16. work out at least 3-4 days a week
17. blog about more specific projects and feelings so that I'm truly sharing my experiences here
18. actually kick off WWS with my AP & Mel
19. come home to see fam and friends in August and December (thats for you Mom, Dad, Connie, Linette, Jason, and Taylor!!)
20. take more pictures (you ((Jessica)) deserve to see them and I need to always remember the memories)
21. finally but most importantly, always remember who I serve ( “To love God, to serve Him because we love Him, is…our highest happiness. Love makes all labor light. We serve with enthusiasm where we love with sincerity…”)

Ya tu sabes! Hasta luego

When you get to the end of all the light you know and its time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen:either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly-Edward Teller

Al llegar al final de toda la luz que usted sabe y es el momento de entrar en la oscuridad de lo desconocido, la fe es saber que una de dos cosas sucederá: o bien se le dará algo sólido para estar de pie, o si se va a enseñó a volar-Edward Teller

All who wander are not lost (Be Kind to Yourself)

My nature varies: the mood of one hour is sometimes the mockery of the next.”-Villette by Charlotte Bronte

The above quote summarizes my inconsistent and ever changing thoughts about my experiences here so far. Its difficult to summarize my feelings but its like sometimes I can be on the highest of highs, simply content in the fact that I remembered a child’s name or that a doña remembered mine and in the very next moment sink into such a low that at times I wonder how anything so trivial could be the root cause. I've also felt guilty at times for leaving my family and friends behind. If they miss me as much as I miss them, I hate to be the source of any pain for them. I know they are proud of me but sometimes I feel really really selfish in pursuing this journey. But I have been working on getting out of my head and staying on the field at all times. This frame of mind has led to a significant shift in the past couple of days which should have a very positive affect on my service moving forward.

'All who wander are not lost' has been a very helpful reminder to not attach specific expectations to my experience here. I am someone who very much likes to be in control, organize, and navigate every part of my life and this journey was an attempt to trample all over that mindset. However, throughout the past 2 months, Ive felt really lost, only focused on keeping my head above water yet at the same time trying to firmly plant my feet and figure out just what I have to offer to my community and organization. What about me is important to share, and when, when will I ever learn enough Spanish to have a decent conversation with anyone, what does integration look like....I really could go on and on with my musings. The point is that I´ve been too focused on what I don´t have or what I haven´t figured out or accomplished yet instead of just letting it all happen (releasing my need to be in control the wise people tell me). It will all come in time and little by little that has turned out to be the case.

In another post I mentioned a recent shift in wanting the most out of this experience more and striving to attain it. Whatever “it” looks like (hey I´m trying to go with the flow here). In giving myself fully to this experience, and no longer looking back AT ALL, one of the things that I’ve seen volunteers write and say time and time again is to be kind to yourself. In order to do that you must first accept that you are worthy of that kindness. Whether this is an American concept or not, merit is often tied to achievements, accomplishments, and successfully helping others. Bestow kindness where it is undeserved, unmerited…so foreign a concept but one that I am learning quickly because I’m not a fan of mental anguish, loneliness, and regret.

What does being kind to yourself look like? In the here and now, for me it means taking on as many opportunities to get to know members of my community, my organization, and other volunteers. Pero, it does not mean second guessing, questioning, and beating myself when I just don’t feel like going or doing something. I will take trips to the gym and have mental health days when I need them sin verguenza. It also means celebrating everything.  Si vale la pena aprenderlo, vale la pena celebrarlo. Some days it really takes courage to get out of bed and walk my community and I should celebrate each and every time I accomplish it. It also means accepting the fact that although I don’t have a full grasp of the Spanish concept yet, I need to be patient with myself, because I am studying and trying every single day.

I´ve also developed more of a daily routine which is always subject to change (flexibility is key) but it really helps to have a semi plan of what I hope my first year of service will look like. I am partnered with a wonderful organization, Accion Callejera's mission is to promote the rights of children and adolescents in situations of vulnerability in all its forms. AC uses an action and research based approach that leads to the understanding of their difficulties and  implementation of support programmes which can positively impact on their living conditions. The vision is to be a reliable and effective institution in the understanding of these youths reality, in the pursuit and implementation of appropriate solutions and comprehensive responses. And their values include respect, dignity, solidarity, commitment and faith.


I pretty much love everything that AC tries to do for youth, from offering a daily program for limpiabotas (youth who clean shoes and basically live on the streets), to coordinating over 25 sala de tareas for students in barrios all over Santiago (students in the DR only go to school for half the day so the other half can be filled with more educational and enrichment opportunities through sala de tarea), and offering legal, health, and emotional support. After my my 3 month training at the end of January I promise to share my about my day to day role with AC. But I will get to use my teaching experience, create differentiated learning techniques, facilitate youth activities, and work with a team that focuses on supporting limpiabotas in high risk situations. So Im definitely happy about what is to come!

I began my new schedule this week. Alot of the boys that walk into the apoyo escolar immediately begin speaking Creole to me. I give a look of honest confusion and explain thatI dont know Creole and Im still working on my Spanish. Bewildered, they ask so where are you from.... I reply that Im American and the immediate responses is 'pero tu eres Americana'.... After that, one boy gives me a hug and then we begin working on adding and subtracting.


The next day, one of the boys who is 15 asks me to teach him English and I reply that once he learns to write Spanish, I will teach him more English (because he already knows a little). He picks up a newspaper article and asks me to read to him, I tell him no and remind him that Im sure he can read it perfectly fine. He hesistates but proceeds to read the entire article. I congradulate him and he beams a look of pride that reminded me of why I wanted to become a teacher. Later, he asks me about my family and mentions that he doesn't have any. He asks me if I'll allow him to call me aunt Jackie (tia en espanol) because he thinks I'm a good person, I'm educated, and I have the same skin tone as him. I happily agreed and my conversation with him literally solidified why Im here. If any of you recall my post about some of the discrimination I've faced here because of my skin tone, you should know that all of it was well worth it just to have the opportunity to be a positive example for someone like my new sobrino (nephew). I know I'm supposed to be here, my conversation with him felt like a whisper from God to leave my fears behind and arm myself with courage and love. It was a reminder to continue to be a person who makes others feel special.

Entonces, I've had a really great week. I walked my community with 2 of my youth group leaders and we conducted 10 interviews, we are also planning to do more today and next Thursday. So this will be my last post for awhile as I prepare to finish community and organization interviews and next week starts my second full week with my new schedule. I pray that everyone has a wonderful Holiday season with loved ones, please please cherish your shared moments as the gifts they are. I´ll spend New Years with my PCV loves and then really hit crunch time with completing my organization and community diagnostic. Send me emails, I´ll be sure to respond and check out my facebook because I added some new photos.


Last but certainly not least, please keep the families and friends of Elizabeth Alden Landis and Lena Jenison in your prayers. They were Peace Corps volunteers in Mozambique who passed away in a car crash. This tragic news hit me hard yesterday because it is the holiday season (please pray for the enduring strength of their families) and it can be a lonely time in another country, but I'm alive and healthy. Life is fragile, beautiful, and quick, I pray that everyone makes the most of every moment and spends each moment doing something valuable and worthwhile not just for you but humankind as well.

“The best of happiness, is mine already – the power and will to be useful….”

Hasta Luego!! I'm Headed to the Dominican Republic

"We can do no great things - only small things with great love" -Mother Teresa

I saw this on twitter this morning so I think its really fitting that I lead with this. This entire process has been about completing a number of steps with care and love. Some parts were extremely tedious and exhausting, but in reflection...well worth it. I had the opportunity to open my packet in front of my core sisters, and it was what we had suspected (and hoped for): I will serve as a Youth Development Promoter in the Dominican Republic!!!!!!!

It's hard to describe all of the emotions I felt after opening the packet. Excitement, nervousness, humility, sincere thanks. But more importantly confirmation. In 2009, I was beginning the process of coming out of a rough space. I wrote a letter to myself which included a list of 30 things I wanted to do before 30. Before I even knew how wide open and flexible placements for the Peace Corps is... #6 on my list was to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Dominican Republic. (naive right) So to actually have the opportunity to serve there, gives me further confirmation that this is a God order step.

One of my line sister's just sent me an email that said I hope you do as much learning down there as teaching. And I definitely plan to. I'm not out to accomplish some great feat so I can look back and say...yep that was all me. If you know me you know I actually don't like the spotlight at all and I'm still learning to accept compliments and kudos. God's purpose for my life is to serve, and because of that I know I will openly immerse myself in the day to day lives of the people I'll be blessed to meet.

There's so much more I could say but its off to graduation rehearsal....my babies graduate on Monday! Plus there are an awful lot of contents in the BBP that I need to re-read and a million forms I need to fill out. And as my PS put it so eloquently on my invitation letter: "keep learning Spanish" so that will become a much bigger part of my daily routine. Thanks to all of the PC applicants whose blogs gave me insight and comfort in knowing that I am not alone. And to those who are just starting, see it through, this journey is well worth it.