Fiesta Fiesta (the Shift Emily described)

Everyone always says that in your first 3 months in site, all you should be doing is getting out, getting to know people, compartiring, developing a great relationship with your host family, and in my case getting to know my organization, people in my org and where I can fit into my org as well. So far I can only confidently say I’ve built a very strong relationship with my family…everything else is a work in progress. As Emily said, you get what you want more, and developing a relationship with my family is what I’ve wanted most. Now that I have a baseline, I think the fiestas at my org have cemented my want to do the rest. I’ll try my best to explain the shift in my thoughts.

I am partnered with arguably one of the best Dominican organizations in the country (Thanks Adele, Sheila, Kerri, Clare, Dean, and anyone else who helped with my site development).They have so many volunteers from various countries all across the world that, naturally, I was a little intimidated on just how to find my niche and contribute meaningfully to the organization as well as my site. Peace Corps has amazing programs that I can implement, but I cannot start them yet, I have a lot of thoughts and experiences to share with youth here but I cannot speak Spanish well yet, I love to listen and want to gain the confianza of my community but I do not understand enough Spanish yet…. So as you can tell everything has, it will come but it just hasn’t happened yet. So how have I felt in the meantime, pretty useless…how have I been perceived? Probably in the same light tambien.

But one of the ways in which I have gotten to feel a little useful is through the fiestas that my organization has put on for the pre-k and sala de tarea kids. I’ve helped to set up chairs, hug kids, pass out treats, and face paint. Not very important in the grand scheme of things but it reminded me that while I’m still learning Spanish, still conducting my 3 month diagnostic, and adjusting, I can still be useful in my own way. And the fiesta that probably caused the complete shift was the fiesta for all of the staff and volunteers of Accion Callejera. Everybody was so happy and full of life. I see how hard they work, how genuinely committed they are, and it was humbling just to be there celebrating with them. My community director was dancing meringue and bachata all day long and it was wonderful to see people in their element. I’ve often felt intimidated around these very same people because of my lack of Spanish but still they have been nothing but patient, understanding, and kind. In watching everyone dancing I realized that I was right where I was supposed to be. And I shifted genuinely in wanting to get to know them, support their work, and share whatever skills I had that could make the org stronger. I have given into choosing this more than anything else. Teedra said a heart that’s pure won’t be denied…

This is as authentic and raw as I’ll permit myself to be and share on the world wide web. I’m not sure how this shift will manifest itself and how it is suppose to look but I’m ready. Clearly, I have not figured it all out yet. I have much more to learn, more people to meet, I need to compartir more time with people, but at least now its genuinely what I want more right where I am. Thanks again Emily, you truly are the best trainer I could have hoped for in navigating this Peace Corps experience.

“If we love God and wish to serve Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory – which is the good of man – to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace and happiness of all the world: however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it: and let us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us and we in Him.” Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte