Feliz Dia de las Madres Dominicanas!

Sorry this has turned into a monthly blog and I will post an update of projects soon. Feliz dia de las Madres! My sister and I are planning to take our mom and other sister to dinner as a treat for all of their hard work and labor as wonderful mothers tonight. They are always working: cooking, cleaning, working in the community center, cuidando hijos and nietos and they rarely get a chance to leave, breathe, and enjoy a little down time. This is our attempt to give them a little bit of that and I am super excited.Pictures will be coming soon.

Other than that, I will post some pics from the last couple of months.... Enjoy!

 Part of my team of Deportes para la Vida trainers. My hermanitos!!

 A mezclave of some of my Chicas brillantes groups for our Soy Sana mini conference!

 Def a Deportes para la vida groupie! love this program

 my hermanito is going to college! we made him a cake....I promise you I did not put the alcoholic beverages there

 Soy Sano day with my Chicos superman group

 My org had a Satiago corre to raise funds for the work we do with youth...these are some of my boys!

 My chiquita chicas brillantes are making libros de sus suenos!!! They deserve to dream =)

MY girls made mother's day cards....Hopefully they give them to their moms' today!

My Chicos supermen! They make my wednesday every wednesday!! They also made mothers day cards and wrote a note saying why they are supermen to give to their moms!

  Extreme Needs team from our Youth group at the 2da Conferencia Nacional sobre NNA en Situaciones de Alto Riesgo

 Chicos Supermen de Accion Callejera! My babies!!

 Awesome camp!

 My girls made purses...they are so talented!

 Riding through Bani on the way to the beach with the love of my life and the love of her life

 my lifetime sister...def special check out the helmet

 obstacle course at chicos superman!

 All of the participantes at the 2da Conferencia Nacional sobre NNA en Situaciones de Alto Riesgo

 The Comite Comite of the 2da Conferencia Nacional sobre NNA en Situaciones de Alto Riesgo

it was an amazing experience and Hilary and I get to participate n the planning process again next year!

All of my loves but the 2 on the left...yea def have been essential to my sanity here!

Well that was another quick peek... Until next time

Happy Mother's Day

Hello Mommy,

To the love of my life,I hope you have a wonderful Mother's day! Thank you so much for shaping me into the woman I am today through your endless mercy, grace, and unwavering love. You are my earthly example of how earnestly God loves us.

There is a sad irony in today though. As most people know, I live in a hole literally which leads to flooding when it rains. Just last week a girl fell in crossing at one of the bridge points because it collapsed, she had to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, one of the younger boys from our sala de tarea was playing by the river when a torrential downpour hit yesterday and he got knocked into the river. (Our river is filled with all kinds of trash, sewage, and sharp objects.) They searched for him overnight and finally found him a little while ago. Death is an especially troubling concept for me when it comes to children and youth. I can only trust God because there are no answers to why. He was his mother's only son. Mother's Day in the D.R. is in 2 weeks. He had a amazing smile. This is the first death I've experienced in my community (I experienced it during training and during CBT) and I'm not exactly sure how to process this, he literally lived in my backyard. Please pray for his entire family, pray for the children in sala de tarea and his school, and pray for my org as we try to support the community in their healing.

Please validate someone today, remind them of why they are important, and remind everyone who matters how much you love them. This life is so fleeting.

Its been a little while

I think the last time I posted a blog about what I’ve been up to projects wise was when I actually started my projects. Oops. So what have I been up to in the last month and a half? I’ve had a lot of successes (gracias a Dios), some failures, a lot of great times, and immeasurable learning experiences. I am really only focusing on 4 Peace Corps programs;  I think they will be the cornerstones of my service and the most rewarding initiatives for my community.

Chicas Brillantes: The 3 girls that I took the regional conference in February have really been a blessing. They run groups whenever I have to go out of town for meetings  and show up for every single program. They  model positive participation, energize the other girls, and motivate girls to come to the groups as well. My chicas groups have been running pretty smoothly and I think the girls are really starting to internalize the information because I am starting to see a shift in some of their actions. Some of the girls who started out really shy and didn’t want to participate are now raising their hands, sharing personal examples, and leading the way whenever it is time to do a dinamica. Additionally, a couple of my groups like to continue group by either having a reading club or doing step. I am really excited for the next couple of months because the girls are more comfortable sharing information with me and I am becoming more comfortable speaking Spanish in front of them. A lot of them also want to study at a university so I am hoping to learn more about the college application process here in order to support my girls on their journey. Doesn't this sound so familiar =)

Chicos Superman: I originally started out with 2 groups on two different days but I ended up combining the groups so that I could have a good solid group of 15 boys. They are energetic and we are on an anti-tigere journey because we tend to focus on topics that help them realize that women can do anything men can do. (viva mujeres!) I am enjoying doing activities with this group because they love any and everything! I am pretty excited for the Regional camp because I am hoping to get more ideas about science and outdoor activities to do with them.

Deportes para la Vida: I’m totally in love with this program because it reminds me a lot of the College Summit Rap Director curriculum. I was able to take 5 people from my community/organization to the training in late March and I had a ball. I learned a lot about my community members which will only strengthen the confianza I have within the community and I think they learned a lot about as me well. We went through the entire program as participantes and also practiced facilitating the different activities in preparation for becoming entrenadores within our respective communities. This program totally engages youth in an exciting and energetic way, as well as teaches them about positive decision making and HIV/AIDS prevention. So the major plan with this program is to do summer workshops with all of my graduated Chicas and Chicos groups, as well as jovenes from my barrio. The goal is to train them with this program which hopefully opens the door for Escojo mi Vida groups in the fall. Si Dios quiere!

Yo se Leer:  In working with Chicas and Chicos groups, I’ve realized that there are a large number of youth in my site who cannot read. It is pretty disheartening and it has prevented some of them from participating fully in group at times. I am hoping to create a safe space where they can start to learn how to read. This is definitely a major focus of mine so I am taking steps now to create a program for the fall. I am planning to start working with my target population in May so that we can just do a short term class, they can get comfortable with me and the set up of the program, and then it will be full steam ahead in September. Again si Dios quiere.

Also, I just held my first mini conference which was basically a health day for the older girls in my Chicas group. The day focused on the girls gaining an understanding of the human anatomy, menstrual cycle process, DPV introductory games about HIV/AIDS, A.B.C.s, nutrition, step, and girl talk. It was a jam packed mini conference and the event was really successful despite my stress level at the start of the day being at an all time high. But that is why I am so thankful to have some amazing friends serving with me because my lovely friends from the health sector Norma and James came to facilitate the charlas, 2 of my Deportes para la Vida entrenadores facilitated 2 games, and  Caleb brought a rockstar from his community who dropped some knowledge on my girls. I am thrilled that my girls had such a great time learning about their bodies and ways to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS.  I am planning 2 more days in April as well: one more for my younger Chicas groups and one for my Chicos group. Now that I have organzied one event, I am focused on improving the success in all my programs to follow.

I have the next 2 months to wrap up my Chicas and Chicos groups (of course I am trying to plan an awesome graduation for them as well!), plan my summer Deportes para la Vida camps, attend some conferences with my jovenes, and of course continue to explore this beautiful country by visiting other PC volunteers!

And finally...how am I doing personally? Well we all know I am an over planner and I am results oriented. but even with the impressive org (I mean I even have an org issued email address) I'm still learning to take everything one step at a time and do things my way. I'm also happy to have gotten started on my projects in my community because it is helping me grow more comfortable with Spanish. I've also done a bit of travelling over the past month and half and I have gone to 6 different friends' sites. I've been to the beach, celebrated graduations with friends, participated in the events of other volunteers, hosted volunteers in my site, and I've spent more time getting to know the amazing trabajadores of my organization.

I've caught myself reflecting on a question my triplet Ashlee asked me 2 months ago...am I present in every moment? I was unsure at the time of that skype call which probably meant no then. I had been so anxious about what my service would look like, how I may never ever get Spanish, and just caught up in over planning. But now, I truly feel as though I am living in every moment. I am genuinely enjoying my time here, I laugh often, let things roll off my back more easily, go out more, forgive more, and accept/embrace everything for what it is an amazing space to be in. I plan, but I am not tied to the plan; I am more flexible and accepting of the fact that nothing is certain. If nothing else, that has been a great lesson I've learned here while in the D.R. because I've become more at peace with just letting things be.

And since I am speaking about my personal world, I would like to thank all of my family and friends...in the States and here in the D.R. I am a better person for the people who helped me become who I am in the States as well as for the people who continually challenge, love, and help me shift out of my comfort zone here in the D.R. This Peace Corps experience is all about the people you meet and I am positive that I have developed even more life long friendships here in the D.R. which I am thankful to God for.

Culturally Speaking

First of all Feliz Internacional Dia de la Mujer! This is way more popular in the rest of the world than I believe it is in the states. Unfortunately, I don´t have a major march or huge activity planned for my community this year....but I´m already starting to thing about 2013!! It is sooo important to celebrate women, especially where I am!

I just realized that I have yet to really post about the cultural aspects of my experience here in the Dominican Republic...which when all else fades will be what I hold onto, cherish, remember, and continue to share about my experiences serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer here.

So I took a little time to reflect and think about all of the good and bad aspects of the Dominican culture that I have learned to love, respect, appreciate, and/or tolerate.


si Dios quiere mentality.... In the D.R this is an extremely popular phrase which means if God wants (or if it is in His will). This is the reply to any and every question, statement, or opinion. See you tomorrow...Si Dios Quiere.... Will you be at the meeting today at 4? Si Dios quiere. I want some eggs...Si Dios Quiere. I´m not hyping this up at all! It is used as response regardless of if the person plans to come to an event or not. So literally everytime I hear this I put someone in the maybe box for attending.

ask a question...get a blank stare and the nose scrunch.... I want to blame one of my Spanish teachers Veronica (whom I love dearly) because I have picked up this habit and my friends you will definitely see me do this when I come to visit... No judging por favor. So I use the blank stare and nose scrunch in response to someone asking me a question I don´t understand, a question I don´t feel like answering, and when I´m playing around with someone. The nose scrunch allows for the person to repeat themselves...which helps with the I´m-still-learning-Spanish-perdoname-phase-Im-in.

Anything can be turned into an icebreaker (dinamica). Seriously I have led some icebreakers here that would get me booed off of any stage in the States. But here, from 50 year old parents to 10 year old boys and girls to 18 year old jovenes...Dominicans love dinamicas and I´m thankful for it! Seriously you could turn running backwards into a dinamica...sing a loony song, play a counting game, or just act out a skit (Dominicans love skits) and you have an instant classic. Dinamicas have helped me where my language skills have failed me. I love how easy going and positive spirited Dominicans are!

Nothing ever goes as planned. Nothing ever starts on time, and nothing ever ends on time either. What is the point in planning? So we all know I am an over planner so at times this hurts me to my very core. This has also been my number one lesson in humility and patience in this country. (with the exception of my Chicas Brillantes and Chicos Superman groups on Wednesdays...they get to the community center 30 minutes or an hour in advance!) And I will admit that I only witness this in doses as I am more of an 8-5 volunteer so things always generally begin and end within that timeframe.

Food is so so so fresh here. If it wasn´t for the fact that I eat viveres, I could be losing weight (and hopefully I will once I move into my own place!). Every meal is cooked right before its eaten and there are rarely leftovers. I eat a more varied and healthier lunch that I ever have (Remember McDonalds runs during 5th period Richards?) and the food (though not at all seasoned or varied) is usually rice beans some kind of meat, vegetables and salad which is always okay in my book.

You are what they see. Should anyone ever forget your name or if you are meeting someone for the first time, you are known by whatever physical features they choose to identify you by. This is not the Ms. or Mr. upon introduction culture...So you could be called anything from Morena, rubia, gringo, gordo, viejo, joven, flacita...lo que sea! This is probably one of the toughest aspects of Dominican culture for me to get used to, but it is what it is...its truly their world and I´m just happy to be apart of it.

Everybody is somebody´s relative. I live in a campo barrio and seriously just when I think I´ve met someone for the first time, they remind me that they are the uncle, brother, sister, cousin, niece, nephew, or godparent of another person that I know. One of the first questions I like to ask is not if someone is related but how they are related.

The laundry hangs outside to dry...and so does your business. LOUDLY So chisme...aka gossip is pretty big in the D.R. culture. Even though I live in a pretty urban area, people always know when I´m not here, when I got back, what I was wearing, what I´m doing, what I don´t like to eat, what I love to eat, my crazy American tendencies like sleeping past 7am, lo que sea. I´m not even exaggerating everybody knows everything about everybody here. I want to blame this on the fact that people pass their time haciendo nada...but it doesn´t matter where I am in this beautiful country...there is chisme here!! Part 2 of this is that everything is so loud. Music can be heard blasting in my site from 8am in the am until 2am. People are always yelling for some muchacho or muchacha, and Dominicans talk and laugh loudly. Music is always on blast, tvs are always on blast, everything is always on blast! Thankfuly nothing can wake me up when I´m asleep so this aspect of D.R. culture has not bothered me much.


I am somebody´s daughter...in the States and in the D.R. too! One of the greatest things about the Peace Corps is that you have to live with 3 host families (one host family during groupwide training, one family during community based training, and one family during your first 3 months in your respective site). Each host family I have had has been incredibly kind to me and has taught me a lot about D.R. culture and Dominican Spanish. My host dad here in Santiag literally had a talk with every guy in the community so that they wouldn´t mess with me and throw piropios (think catcalls) at me. He also told a new guy in the community that he fathered me once when my host mom wasn´t looking and my mom took me to the states. He went on to say that I´m here now to get to know the rest of my fam and help out youth. When the guy asked about my host mom he replied that she was okay with it since I treat her like a second mom! How awesome is that. There are a million stories I could share about how much I truly love my host families. When this experience seemed too difficult, they held my hand, wiped away my tears, sat beside me by candlelight and helped me complete Spanish homework, helped me learn how to bucket flush, made me drink coffee which has now become an addicition, taught me how to make locrio, bought me Gatorade just because they wanted too, watched monday night football with me, taught me how to play dominoes, sang me a song to wake me up in the morning, wired up some internet so I could tell my mom in the States I was okay, laughed with me, and without any ulterior motives...shared their lives with me. I will forever be grateful to my host families for this.

seriously youth can change the world...the D.R. is no exception. Now that my programs are underway, I´m developing an even deeper appreciation for youth. The youth here are incredibly patient with me (as I literally butcher their langauge everytime I give a charla) and still take the time to share their thoughts and feelings openly. I´m so thankful for their trust, support, and willingness to take positive risks with me. They may not be exposed to a lot or have seen a lot outside of their community, or had a lot of opportunities to be creative or use their critical thinking skills in school, they still have them and choose to use them everytime we have a group.

it means the world to remember someone´s name. Pretty universal but it has picked up even more meaning for me during my time here in the D.R. I have not mastered this but when you say someone´s name, and say it correctly, their whole face lights up. This might have something to do with the fact that people are called by their exterior features. I am currently striving to learn the names of the 70+ chicas y chicos in my groups... si Dios quiere...

if you had any doubts...there are Dominican professionals.... while a lot of my friends live in campos or bateys...I have the opportunity to work with Dominicans who run an organization that I am extremely proud to be apart of now. Psychologists, lawyers, social workers, community advocates, teachers, directors...I have the opportunity to interact with all of them and it has added another layer of cultural understanding for me. They are educated, compassionate, and hard'working in their quest to support youth in and around Santiago. They make me want to step up my game and they plan and prepare in a way I wish I had when I was a teacher!

Dominicans are resourceful.... The majority of Dominicans that I know are extremely poor. Still, they will open up their homes and offer whatever food or coffee they have to anyone. And they use whatever they have to do what they want to do. For instance, I´ve seen baseball played with bottle caps, rocks, sticks, (umbrellas...well my group did that during community based training) in the middle of the street when youth don´t have baseball fields to go to. I´ve learned so many new games because a lot of the youth in my communtiy do not have any toys to play with, just other kids and their imagination. And the youth definitely get this trait from somewhere...Amas de casa...Their mothers are definitely the most resourceful people I´ve every met. My goal is to have a woman´s group at some point...not because I have a lot to share with them, but because I want to spend more time learning from them!

Well hopefully this helped you see more into my world as a volunteer in the D.R. Next time around I´ll try to post some picutres from different events and places I´ve been over the last 3 months.

PS Here is more information about the organization I am partnered with...in English! Enjoy!
Accion Callejera!!

A Shift in the Triple C

The Triple C are the programs I planned to start implementing now that all trainings and diagnostic periods have come to pass. In reflecting with my APCD and Extreme Needs specialist, I realized that what people say is no joke. My first month in country was the absolute hardest…and then my first 2 months in site were an absolute nightmare. My first month was hard because I didn’t know how to communicate AT ALL, I was trying to get used to an 8-5 training schedule again, and then I was also trying to figure who I could kick it with in my group (glad they all turned out to be great people!). And my first 2 months in site…lets just say I’m glad it’s a blur now because I really just remember spending time looking at the walls wondering how I was supposed to integrate into my little camp barrio and my impressive org. You don’t really express those things via blog while its happening but now that I am starting to hit my stride, I can look back and confidently say that if you at least make it past those periods, you have a good fighting chance to at least….make it to the one year mark. Older PCVs always tell me that that will be another hard mark in my service. Vamos a ver.

                Now back to the Triple C. Chicas Brillantes: girls empowerment program. Chicos Superman: boys empowerment program. Construye Tus Suenos: business empowerment program for youth. These programs would target the major groups that I am interested in working with at my community center.  Going to the Chicas Brillantes Regional conference with 3 motivated girls was the signature to success in signing people up for all of my programs. The girls walked around all of the barrios with me to tell youth about their experiences at the conference and encourage people to register. Specifically, they reached out to their extended network: friends and cousins which was a great way for me to meet more people in the community. Since I’m partnered with an org, I’m more of a 9-5 volunteer which is a pretty different experience than the usual Peace Corps volunteer. So instead of having just one Chicas or Chicos group, I have a different group every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. As a former teacher, I actually think I work well under this set up because I get to plan, facilitate, reflect and continue to make each session better and better. Sorry Wednesdays and hooray for Fridays truly getting the best that I’ve got.

                Anyways, Wednesdays Chicas group had over 20 girls in attendance ages 7-13 (my younger group). They were pretty excited and I had 2 of the girls who went to the Chicas conference with me there to co-facilitate and reiterate my point anytime my Spanish completely failed me. They also stayed to help with the Chicos group which was a lot smaller and the activities were a lot more active but the girls jumped right in. I’m so excited for the girls because I am definitely watching as they step up as leaders, which warms my heart because this is exactly why I signed up to serve, to share opportunities for youth to step into their leadership potential. I was on such a high Wednesday as I finished prepping for my first Construye Tus Suenos class with my youth group. 

           Now I should probably give you all a background as to my youth group. This group was formed in October by the Spanish volunteer in my community to give to me once I got to my site. So in my first month (November) I shadowed him as he gave the youth leadership roles within the group and discussed several topics like self-esteem and positive communication. By the time December rolled around (where community members are only ready to celebrate) the Spanish volunteer was ready to pass the group to me so that he could proceed with his own interests. The only hitch with this was that I was only supposed to be integrating in my first 3 months, not taking over an established youth group. My hand was in a mini cast, I could not write anything, and my Spanish learning was almost at a halt so this was a horrible time to take over a group. Nevertheless, I wasn’t really given a choice so I did all of the Peace Corps integration activities with the youth group as a means of getting a feel for the community, a better understanding of youth needs and how I could support them, as well as a chance to learn more about the individual members of the group. This turned out to be a really successful process. I partnered with Carrie, my fave Santiago vol to help me facilitate my last meeting with the youth in January. At this meeting, we had the best youth attendance I had ever seen, we did a lot of team activities, I stressed the opportunity that they all had to become better leaders and learn whatever they wanted. So after explaining all of the Peace Corps D.R. programming initiatives and programming that they could participate in, expressing that we could do them all over 2 years, but I wanted to know what would interest them most to begin with. Almost unanimously (and this was led by the guys) a lot of people wanted to go through Yo Soy Ingeniero (a technology/math course) and Construye Tus Suenos. So, the Yo Soy Ingeniero program needs a lot of materials, and expensive materials. There is an AT volunteer who is working on creating start up kits for the program so I automatically thought that that program would come second. So that left construye and I walked around to tell the youth about the choice to start with this program. To be fair, we had not had a meeting for 2 weeks due to my 3 month training, participation in the 50^th anny, and the Chicas conference.

                So after a not so short story, imagine my disappointment when after translating all the words I needed to facilitate Construye, writing everything out on cartulina, and practicing….only one girl showed up, my Chicas girl to be exact. Frustrating, humbling…and I was left without an idea as to how to proceed. I had planned this out so that I could teach the entire Construye manual considering the times where I would be in Santo Domingo helping to plan for the conferences I’m interested in taking more youth to. I learned later that it was a hot day and no one wanted to climb the hill to go to the community center. There are some days when I don’t want to climb the hill so I could empathize but that didn’t lessen my disappointment much. But after meeting with my APCD and extreme needs specialist on Thursday, they assured me that I was off to a good start and that Construye requires a lot of math skills, which I know a lot of my youth do not have….so I’ve decided to postpone Construye and focus on Chicas and Chicos at the community center along with having a small group of girls who are in my Chicas group do Yo Se Leer because they do not know how to read. They have some learning difficulties in the regular D.R. setting so I’m hoping a small group with one to one tutoring, their own manual, and lots of positive encouragement and reinforcement will help them. I’m happy with this shift in focus and I think that is the name of the game as a Peace Corps volunteer. You just keep throwing spaghetti at the wall trying to figure out what will stick. I’m just starting out my service (in terms of throwing spaghetti) so I’m excited to figure out what will stick as well as to see if things may stick under different seasons (once I know more Spanish, once  I build a better relationship with more people in the community, after April when there seems to be less job opportunities available). Plus I'm building strong networks with a lot of women in my community and they are really urging me to start a womens group so I am going to learn more about the Somos Mujeres women's initiative in the D.R. I'm excited that a lot of things are falling into place!

                I had been working over the past month to really establish myself at the other site in my org so its nice to also start programs at the community center as well. I have a great relationship with my jefas at both sites and I’m continuing to work on building positive relationships with as many employees as I can. This has probably been the most intimidating experience of all as a PCV serving with a well established non-profit because both org sites are used to a million volunteers and I definitely have had a hard time communicating with them in comparison to other volunteers. Which leads me to my next point, in reflecting with my Peace Corps jefas, I realized that I struggled in my first 2 months partly because of all the comparisons that people made of me to other volunteers and how I was expected “to be.” Not being able to communicate denied my personality the chance to shine through so I just appeared more reserved and shy than I actually am. But the truth of the matter is that I am nothing like the other volunteers and I once I learned to ignore comparisons and focus on just being me, some of my anxieties started to fade and now my friendships are growing…slowly but hey I’ve still got 2 years =)

All who wander are not lost (Be Kind to Yourself)

My nature varies: the mood of one hour is sometimes the mockery of the next.”-Villette by Charlotte Bronte

The above quote summarizes my inconsistent and ever changing thoughts about my experiences here so far. Its difficult to summarize my feelings but its like sometimes I can be on the highest of highs, simply content in the fact that I remembered a child’s name or that a doña remembered mine and in the very next moment sink into such a low that at times I wonder how anything so trivial could be the root cause. I've also felt guilty at times for leaving my family and friends behind. If they miss me as much as I miss them, I hate to be the source of any pain for them. I know they are proud of me but sometimes I feel really really selfish in pursuing this journey. But I have been working on getting out of my head and staying on the field at all times. This frame of mind has led to a significant shift in the past couple of days which should have a very positive affect on my service moving forward.

'All who wander are not lost' has been a very helpful reminder to not attach specific expectations to my experience here. I am someone who very much likes to be in control, organize, and navigate every part of my life and this journey was an attempt to trample all over that mindset. However, throughout the past 2 months, Ive felt really lost, only focused on keeping my head above water yet at the same time trying to firmly plant my feet and figure out just what I have to offer to my community and organization. What about me is important to share, and when, when will I ever learn enough Spanish to have a decent conversation with anyone, what does integration look like....I really could go on and on with my musings. The point is that I´ve been too focused on what I don´t have or what I haven´t figured out or accomplished yet instead of just letting it all happen (releasing my need to be in control the wise people tell me). It will all come in time and little by little that has turned out to be the case.

In another post I mentioned a recent shift in wanting the most out of this experience more and striving to attain it. Whatever “it” looks like (hey I´m trying to go with the flow here). In giving myself fully to this experience, and no longer looking back AT ALL, one of the things that I’ve seen volunteers write and say time and time again is to be kind to yourself. In order to do that you must first accept that you are worthy of that kindness. Whether this is an American concept or not, merit is often tied to achievements, accomplishments, and successfully helping others. Bestow kindness where it is undeserved, unmerited…so foreign a concept but one that I am learning quickly because I’m not a fan of mental anguish, loneliness, and regret.

What does being kind to yourself look like? In the here and now, for me it means taking on as many opportunities to get to know members of my community, my organization, and other volunteers. Pero, it does not mean second guessing, questioning, and beating myself when I just don’t feel like going or doing something. I will take trips to the gym and have mental health days when I need them sin verguenza. It also means celebrating everything.  Si vale la pena aprenderlo, vale la pena celebrarlo. Some days it really takes courage to get out of bed and walk my community and I should celebrate each and every time I accomplish it. It also means accepting the fact that although I don’t have a full grasp of the Spanish concept yet, I need to be patient with myself, because I am studying and trying every single day.

I´ve also developed more of a daily routine which is always subject to change (flexibility is key) but it really helps to have a semi plan of what I hope my first year of service will look like. I am partnered with a wonderful organization, Accion Callejera's mission is to promote the rights of children and adolescents in situations of vulnerability in all its forms. AC uses an action and research based approach that leads to the understanding of their difficulties and  implementation of support programmes which can positively impact on their living conditions. The vision is to be a reliable and effective institution in the understanding of these youths reality, in the pursuit and implementation of appropriate solutions and comprehensive responses. And their values include respect, dignity, solidarity, commitment and faith.


I pretty much love everything that AC tries to do for youth, from offering a daily program for limpiabotas (youth who clean shoes and basically live on the streets), to coordinating over 25 sala de tareas for students in barrios all over Santiago (students in the DR only go to school for half the day so the other half can be filled with more educational and enrichment opportunities through sala de tarea), and offering legal, health, and emotional support. After my my 3 month training at the end of January I promise to share my about my day to day role with AC. But I will get to use my teaching experience, create differentiated learning techniques, facilitate youth activities, and work with a team that focuses on supporting limpiabotas in high risk situations. So Im definitely happy about what is to come!

I began my new schedule this week. Alot of the boys that walk into the apoyo escolar immediately begin speaking Creole to me. I give a look of honest confusion and explain thatI dont know Creole and Im still working on my Spanish. Bewildered, they ask so where are you from.... I reply that Im American and the immediate responses is 'pero tu eres Americana'.... After that, one boy gives me a hug and then we begin working on adding and subtracting.


The next day, one of the boys who is 15 asks me to teach him English and I reply that once he learns to write Spanish, I will teach him more English (because he already knows a little). He picks up a newspaper article and asks me to read to him, I tell him no and remind him that Im sure he can read it perfectly fine. He hesistates but proceeds to read the entire article. I congradulate him and he beams a look of pride that reminded me of why I wanted to become a teacher. Later, he asks me about my family and mentions that he doesn't have any. He asks me if I'll allow him to call me aunt Jackie (tia en espanol) because he thinks I'm a good person, I'm educated, and I have the same skin tone as him. I happily agreed and my conversation with him literally solidified why Im here. If any of you recall my post about some of the discrimination I've faced here because of my skin tone, you should know that all of it was well worth it just to have the opportunity to be a positive example for someone like my new sobrino (nephew). I know I'm supposed to be here, my conversation with him felt like a whisper from God to leave my fears behind and arm myself with courage and love. It was a reminder to continue to be a person who makes others feel special.

Entonces, I've had a really great week. I walked my community with 2 of my youth group leaders and we conducted 10 interviews, we are also planning to do more today and next Thursday. So this will be my last post for awhile as I prepare to finish community and organization interviews and next week starts my second full week with my new schedule. I pray that everyone has a wonderful Holiday season with loved ones, please please cherish your shared moments as the gifts they are. I´ll spend New Years with my PCV loves and then really hit crunch time with completing my organization and community diagnostic. Send me emails, I´ll be sure to respond and check out my facebook because I added some new photos.


Last but certainly not least, please keep the families and friends of Elizabeth Alden Landis and Lena Jenison in your prayers. They were Peace Corps volunteers in Mozambique who passed away in a car crash. This tragic news hit me hard yesterday because it is the holiday season (please pray for the enduring strength of their families) and it can be a lonely time in another country, but I'm alive and healthy. Life is fragile, beautiful, and quick, I pray that everyone makes the most of every moment and spends each moment doing something valuable and worthwhile not just for you but humankind as well.

“The best of happiness, is mine already – the power and will to be useful….”

Fiesta Fiesta (the Shift Emily described)

Everyone always says that in your first 3 months in site, all you should be doing is getting out, getting to know people, compartiring, developing a great relationship with your host family, and in my case getting to know my organization, people in my org and where I can fit into my org as well. So far I can only confidently say I’ve built a very strong relationship with my family…everything else is a work in progress. As Emily said, you get what you want more, and developing a relationship with my family is what I’ve wanted most. Now that I have a baseline, I think the fiestas at my org have cemented my want to do the rest. I’ll try my best to explain the shift in my thoughts.

I am partnered with arguably one of the best Dominican organizations in the country (Thanks Adele, Sheila, Kerri, Clare, Dean, and anyone else who helped with my site development).They have so many volunteers from various countries all across the world that, naturally, I was a little intimidated on just how to find my niche and contribute meaningfully to the organization as well as my site. Peace Corps has amazing programs that I can implement, but I cannot start them yet, I have a lot of thoughts and experiences to share with youth here but I cannot speak Spanish well yet, I love to listen and want to gain the confianza of my community but I do not understand enough Spanish yet…. So as you can tell everything has, it will come but it just hasn’t happened yet. So how have I felt in the meantime, pretty useless…how have I been perceived? Probably in the same light tambien.

But one of the ways in which I have gotten to feel a little useful is through the fiestas that my organization has put on for the pre-k and sala de tarea kids. I’ve helped to set up chairs, hug kids, pass out treats, and face paint. Not very important in the grand scheme of things but it reminded me that while I’m still learning Spanish, still conducting my 3 month diagnostic, and adjusting, I can still be useful in my own way. And the fiesta that probably caused the complete shift was the fiesta for all of the staff and volunteers of Accion Callejera. Everybody was so happy and full of life. I see how hard they work, how genuinely committed they are, and it was humbling just to be there celebrating with them. My community director was dancing meringue and bachata all day long and it was wonderful to see people in their element. I’ve often felt intimidated around these very same people because of my lack of Spanish but still they have been nothing but patient, understanding, and kind. In watching everyone dancing I realized that I was right where I was supposed to be. And I shifted genuinely in wanting to get to know them, support their work, and share whatever skills I had that could make the org stronger. I have given into choosing this more than anything else. Teedra said a heart that’s pure won’t be denied…

This is as authentic and raw as I’ll permit myself to be and share on the world wide web. I’m not sure how this shift will manifest itself and how it is suppose to look but I’m ready. Clearly, I have not figured it all out yet. I have much more to learn, more people to meet, I need to compartir more time with people, but at least now its genuinely what I want more right where I am. Thanks again Emily, you truly are the best trainer I could have hoped for in navigating this Peace Corps experience.

“If we love God and wish to serve Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory – which is the good of man – to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace and happiness of all the world: however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it: and let us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us and we in Him.” Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte